Monday, November 4, 2002

The wonder that comes from paying attention #

I am a man who has lived deeply in my head and heart but who often does not pay attention, full attention, to all the myriad and wondrous details that call out from around me. I'm learning to look and listen more keenly and to appreciate what's actually there and not just what fits my preconceived notions of what must be there. I don't find it easy to make such a switch. And one reason I often fail to pay attention is that I say, "right, I must pay attention" and then try to attend to everthing around me. Needless to say, such focus cannot last-- there's way too much to see and hear and smell and touch -- and I quickly retreat to the relative simplicity of my mind, where things for all their apparent jumble are actually quite tidy. So as with many other things in life, I must start small. Two weeks ago, we had two friends over for a special Sunday dinner. I decided to buy a small arrangment of flowers to add to the festivities. I was reminded of how much Ken, an old housemate, loved wildflowers and his garden and knew so much about the flora and fauna of California. He paid attention to that amazing world. I, on the other hand, knew next to nothing about flowers. I didn't know the names of the flowers I bought. I didn't have the vocabulary to really describe the multiple colors of the arrangement. I made a start by asking those around the table for help, thus precipitating a fun conversation about colors, specifically those on the clothing worn by everyone around the table. I remember some of the colors (chartreuse, teal, plum red) -- but I'm not going to fully integrate that habit of looking and seeing with one evening of trying hard to take into a panoply of colors to which I had never paid much heed [More to follow....]   Posted by Raymond Yee on 11/4/02; 9:24:21 AM from the Personal Notes dept. Discuss